Saturday, December 30, 2017

Racing Stripes




______I've always been compelled to keep a personal timeline through text and image since I was young, and this has been accomplished through a variety of mediums: diaries, sketchbooks, scrapbooks, and even restaurant napkins. Diaries and the like are basically self-portraits you write in order to figure yourself out, to figure out wha image you are projecting into the world. That being said, I don't always see my own image clearly, which is perhaps strange since all this text is accompanied by none other than pictures of myself.

______I see photos of myself and don't always recognize them as me. I see them as someone I recognize on a daily basis but often fail to view that person as myself. I've always struggled with body image, but recently it's been less about body image and more about attempting to construct who I am in my head, noting what it is other people see in me--not necessarily just in terms of physical appearance, but with personality and demeanor, too. I feel like I'm composed of parts and pieces due to pulling personalities and styles from my friends and other influences, taking in their little witticisms and sayings and absorbing and merging them with my own. Perhaps all this image-taking and writing is just me trying to figure out how everything I've come into contact with congeals into one cohesive Ali.



_____ I know I have blonde hair and hazel, sometimes dark green, eyes. I have a scar on my chin from crashing my bike into a parked car and a caterpillar-like scar on my leg from where I had a large birthmark removed many moons ago. I nibble on my nails but don't bite them. I twiddle my hair a lot. I've got some pretty decent sewing skills and lots of pin-pricks on my fingertips to prove it. I spend more time with words in my head than I do speaking them. I get exhausted by people quicker than most, and thus need a solid amount of alone time per day. I don't think I've gone a day in my life without nibbling on some form of chocolate.

_____ Though I have a plethora of photos of myself from day to day that I can look at and definitely confirm as me, I suppose I never think of myself as a specific-looking person when I'm doing something. I suppose in the end, that's what's important: seeing yourself as the actions you perform or the things you do rather than solely your outward appearance.





Dress: Lulus (similar)
Jacket: F21
Gloves: ASOS (similar)
Tights: ASOS
Heels: Jeffrey Campbell
Choker: Valfré (similar)
Rose earrings: Charming Charlie (similar)

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Glitter Bomb



______Glitter, rhinestones, metallics, and faceted glass... though acceptable year-round, they seem even more appropriate during the colder months, as they resemble those scintillating and radiant wintry moments like dripping icicles or glittering snow piled in comfortable tufts on the ground. It doesn't get terribly cold in Alabama until late January (traveling from Iowa to Alabama, I gained fifty degrees and shed a few layers of clothing) so one must make up for the lack of winter through other mediums: festive Christmas decorations, twinkling lights, even the way one dresses.

______It's strange to not partake in any of the Christmas decorating at my parents' home; rather, I come home to perfectly fluffed garlands, draping lights, crisply wrapped presents, and tiny elves strategically sprinkled in various nooks and crannies. I miss watching a tree become slowly enshrouded with ornaments until nearly every branch has something nostalgic dangling from it, just as I miss the way the outdoor lights snap on right as night falls. I no longer have much of a way to decorate for Christmas in my Iowa apartment, that is, unless you count the white icicle lights which reside in my apartment year-round or the fir-scented candles that crack like a fire. I feel that decorating any further would be a waste as I end up coming home over the holidays anyway. It's a strange in-between state to be in.

______Nonetheless, I still celebrate in all the ways I can: listening to cheesy, overplayed holiday music and more contemporary versions of the same thing, wrapping and making presents for my own friends and family, and baking a variety of holiday themed goodies are just a few...




Top: Lulus
Skirt: Urban Outfitters
Fur vest: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Heels: ASOS (similar)
Rhinestone tights: Amazon (exact)
Opal ring: gift from dad
Choker: Forever 21
Open glass bracelet: c/o BornPretty
Earrings: Charming Charlie